


jcc ep 48: we broke up (not a clickbait)

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Break Up Talk, Light Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:46:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26884600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Behind the lens of a camera, Johnny and Ten would address how their relationship fell apart.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Kudos: 17
Collections: nct title fest 2020





	jcc ep 48: we broke up (not a clickbait)

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt # 207
> 
> Writing this was admittedly both challenging and fun. The title really drew my attention from the very first moment I saw the list, and I hope reading it would be as enjoyable for you as I had felt while writing it.

Photography takes an instant out of time, altering life by holding it still. If only Johnny could actually capture the best moments of his life and relive it, he would’ve. But that’s all that they were, photographs. 

He browsed through his vlogs, it has been almost nine months since the last time he filmed with Ten. This particular video they would film today though, would be a lot different than the others he’d posted before. And he doesn’t know if he’s ready to talk about it, but their fans had been entirely oblivious of the fact that they’ve been separated for months and kept on asking for new content that they had to somehow explain why the sudden hiatus that was happening. 

“Johnny?” a knock was heard from the door. It was enough to send Johnny into panic, he doesn’t even know how to interact with the other. 

“Coming!” Johnny took a deep breath and opened the door with a smile plastered on his face just like he’d practiced. He expected Ten to bring snacks, it’s been their usual routine every film day. What he had not expected though, was a tight hug coming from the younger. Ten never failed to surprise him, not even once. 

Once they both released from the hug, Johnny felt empty again. As if he was back from the same day Ten wanted to put an end to their relationship. 

His body longed for more of the other’s hugs, but who was he to ask for more? If it’s all Ten could offer, then it was good enough for him. 

“How have you been?” Ten’s smile never once changed. Their contrast in coping had attacked Johnny’s ego, what a mess his life was. 

“Let’s eat first? If that’s okay..” Johnny stirred the conversation somewhere else. 

“Of course!” Ten then sat on his bed and opened the box of pizza he brought. He gestured for Johnny to get a slice, so Johnny did. It dissipated the tension for a bit. 

“How was China?” Johnny wondered. Ever since Ten went back to Korea and broke up with him, he hadn’t asked him that question. Although what he really wanted to ask was how he was doing. 

Ten took a bite on his pizza before responding, “China is well... China. It was hard for me to go there with little knowledge of mandarin but Hendery helped me and all.” 

Johnny’s stomach twisted at the mention of Hendery’s name. He needed a breather, but prolonging and beating around the topic knowing that they’d soon talk about it was making his heart pound uncontrollably.

“I already have the cameras set, shall we start?” Johnny asked, to which Ten nodded in response. 

“Hello Johfam!” Johnny greeted, while Ten was seen closing the box of pizza in the background. 

“Hi! hi!” Ten said from behind, waving at the camera. 

They both settled on the couch near Johnny’s bed, it was awkward for both of them but they needed to film the video and end it the same day.

“I don’t know how to put this..” Johnny tried to explain as he looked at Ten as if he was asking for help. 

Ten took the hint and did the talking for him, “Oh uhm, well.. me and Johnny decided to go our separate ways.” 

Johnny couldn’t even look at the camera, he didn’t know what else to do but to look at Ten. He has to memorize each and every feature Ten had, while he still has the time to do so. 

“It has been..three?” Ten took a glance at Johnny, while talking. 

“Yeah, three.” Johnny muttered. 

“Three months since we’ve broken up,” Ten held up three fingers as he spoke. 

“As you all know, Ten had been in China for a year. The distance isn’t exactly to blame, it was more on our trust with each other or the lack thereof that led to the break up.” Johnny bit his lower lip, tears were forming on his eyes but he continued. “We were both busy dealing with personal issues and expected each other to just understand without properly communicating that we’re unknowingly tearing our relationship apart.” 

Ten held his hand in an attempt to soothe him, without fail his touches always helped. It was enough for him to calm down, but he couldn’t stop himself from crying. 

“We made time for each other despite the busy schedule, we went out on dates or hang out indoors.. but each time, it just felt different.” Ten mumbled the last part of his sentence. 

He remembered being excited about going out and watching a play with Johnny but the latter seemed to be uninterested, always checking the time on his phone and it had hurt Ten’s feelings. They went home early and Ten gave Johnny a cold shoulder since then, he opened up to Hendery and his friend told him that maybe Johnny was worried about something at work. And Ten hoped it really was like that, but he had a hunch that Johnny doesn’t like being around him anymore. Or worse, Johnny found better company.

“I also blamed everyone, when in fact I was the one in the wrong.” Johnny admittedly blurted out. “I didn’t want to admit that our relationship was not going well even before he left for China that I blamed it all on him.” 

Ten suddenly let go of his hand, to wipe his own tears. 

“I’m so sorry, it was never your fault and I regret everything I have said out of anger. You’re the mature one in our relationship because you were able to notice that we’re no longer good for each other and you were even brave enough to cut it off.” Johnny carefully caressed the small of Ten’s face and brushed his thumb over the latter’s tears. 

Ten could still hear Johnny’s angered voice from their last argument. It was the 28th of September, Johnny dragged him out of his apartment and accused him of cheating. 

“You were talking to Hendery on the phone while I was out, what did you want me to expect?” Johnny threw caution to the wind and flat out accused him. 

“I was just greeting him because it’s his birthday today!” Ten countered, totally baffled by how childish Johnny was acting. 

“I knew you always wanted attention, am I not enough anymore?” Johnny’s words came out like venom and Ten couldn’t just stand there and take it any longer. “You want more people to look at you? You want them to fuc—“ 

“You think i’m that low? That I would cheat? Johnny, you’re the one who’s always out with Jaehyun!” Ten aggressively tugged his own hair out of frustration. “We barely even talk to each other, it’s always me making plans while you’re on your phone! I always try to communicate with you and you’re always brushing things off.” 

“You’re too much!” An uncomfortable silence enveloped them and that’s when Johnny immediately realized the weight of his words. “N-no I mean..” 

“Oh please,” the look on Ten’s eyes fazed Johnny. “Last time, when we fought over the phone because I was scared that you’re losing interest in me you said I wasn’t doing enough.” hurt was visible in the younger’s voice. 

“I’m sorry for being so careless with words-” 

“As you should!” Ten pointed his index finger at Johnny aggressively, “Am I not enough or am I too much? Can’t you at least be sure of what I am to you anymore?” 

The thought of losing Ten that night rendered Johnny speechless, he never thought of it before. It occurred to him that he hasn’t been thinking of how Ten felt in so long, as he was too absorbed with his own selfish thoughts. 

“Let’s fix this please, Ten.” Johnny pleaded, he went to hug the younger. But it felt as though they grew apart, that no amount of apologies could ever bring back the old relationship they had. 

“Johnny, I’m tired.” Ten tapped Johnny”s shoulder to signal him to let go. But it only made the latter hold tighter.  _ He did not want to let go just yet.  _

“Jaehyun.. He.. ” Johnny bawled, Ten could feel him breathe out. 

“I said i’m tired,” Ten intervened and tried to leave the apartment, but on his way to the door Johnny threw all the things on his study table on the floor. 

“I’m also fucking tired!” Johnny yelled. “Jaehyun was there when my parents were going through divorce! He was there when I almost lost my job, He was there when I almost went crazy because I didn’t know how to tell you I was falling apart here in Korea while you were having the time of your life in China!” 

By the time Johnny was done talking, Ten was at a loss for words. Every little thing Johnny confessed hit him harder than anything would ever do. 

“Y-you never told me about those,” Ten bellowed. “How do you expect me to know all of those if you weren’t telling me any of the things you were dealing with?” 

“Ten,“ Johnny said in a much softer voice. “Had I told you all those things, would you have left China for me?” 

“I’d drop anything for you, of course I would have been there for you.” Ten let out an exasperated sigh after coming to a realization that Johnny hid things from him. “Do you not trust me at all?”

“I don’t want you to go, please stay here with me.” Johnny’s lips quivered and his knees felt like it was about to give up. 

And that was all Ten could remember afterwards, walking out of the apartment after Johnny was fast asleep. Leaving a few notes on his study table that he thinks it’s better if they take a break from each other. 

Johnny never contacted him after that night. 

Ten snapped out of his faded memory of that night as Johnny wiped his tears. 

It’s a funny story if you’d ask Ten. 

The same reason he fell in love with Johnny were the very same reasons why he fell out of it. 

He loved how Johnny was spontaneous, not until his spontaneity becomes reckless actions and impulsive decisions that could jeopardize their relationship. He once loved how Johnny touched him, cared for him and made love with him-- until he soon realized it was the only foundation of their relationship. He questioned a lot of things afterwards, if he was nothing but just a good pass time or whether he actually loved Johnny or not. 

And those thoughts and doubts destroyed their relationship further, especially with their lack of trust with each other. They were both great people individually but together, they’re bound to pull each other down. 

Perhaps some people aren’t really meant to be together, perhaps they’re better on their own. 

That’s why Ten cut things off and although discussing it with their fans (along with Johnny) was very difficult, Ten knew he also had his shortcomings. 

He looked at the camera then back at Johnny, “I have to admit that it also was my fault for not checking up on you all the time.” 

Johnny looked like he was about to say something but Ten spoke again, “We are best friends before we became lovers and you still are the best one i’ve ever had. I love you but there's not enough reason for us to stay together anymore.” 

“That’s why you broke it off?” Johnny asked, “Not because you hate me?” 

“I love you so much to ever think of even hating you,” Ten replied with a smile. “What happened before is over, we were dumb—still are. But we have to grow and move on, even if it means we’d walk on our separate paths.” 

“You’re the best person that I ever had, too.” Johnny confessed, his head lowered down. 

The next clip was them hugging and Johnny whispering in Ten’s ears, teary eyed. 

“I hope I'm not the best person you’d meet, because you deserve someone even better than me.” he said in a low voice as he broke down in-front of his ex. 

The video ends with a black screen that resembled a void that Johnny had been feeling for the last few months, the comment section was immediately flooded with sad, shocked and confused comments after the video was posted on his channel. 

**@J0hfam11**

_ this is a prank, right?  _

**@10leelovesyou**

_ johnny looks like he still loves ten  _

**@wrathyong**

_ it must’ve been a tough decision for both of them _

**@suhnnyside**

_ you could see how ten still loves johnny :< _


End file.
